When you and your spouse get a divorce, it puts stress on your children too. If you are getting a divorce in Virginia, it’s important that your children feel as safe and secure throughout the process as possible. Having a child-centered divorce might be the best option.
Keep it out of court
Settling your divorce out of court will be easiest on your children because it makes it feel less like one person won and the other lost if you are able to come to solutions that you both can agree on. Divorcing out of court will protect your finances, and it will protect your children from seeing you and your spouse fight. It will also teach your children how to handle conflict productively.
Focus on the future
Think about what you want your children to remember from the divorce. More than likely, you would want your kids to remember you as a parent who took care of them rather than someone who made them shoulder the burden.
Listen to your children
Children can have thoughts that you might not be aware of if you don’t ask them. Don’t assume that they’re fine. Instead, be proactive by asking them questions about how they feel and by having an open and honest discussion. Never contradict or invalidate their feelings by being defensive; listening is the most important thing.
How easy is it to keep divorce out of court if you have kids?
The judge will look at whether the terms of the divorce are in the best interest of the children and will change any terms that they feel aren’t good for them. But it’s very possible to have an uncontested divorce if you and your spouse treat each other fairly and keep your children’s best interests at heart.
Going through a divorce is difficult, but if you can work with your spouse, you can make the process less damaging to your children and yourself.